What is the First Session Like?
You may be considering therapy for the first time and wondering what to expect, particularly during that initial session. Perhaps you're feeling uncertain or anxious about the process and whether now is the right time to begin.
For many people, the first session becomes a space where they feel heard, supported, and welcomed without judgement. It is an opportunity to begin talking about what has brought them to therapy, at a pace that feels comfortable.
At the beginning of Session 1, your therapist will usually explain how they work and talk through their professional agreement (i.e. the contract) with you. This often includes information about their qualifications, professional membership, confidentiality, supervision, session arrangements, fees, and any notes they may keep.
They will also take some time to understand your previous experience of therapy, if any, and explore what you are hoping for from the therapeutic process moving forward.
Once these practicalities have been covered and you both feel clear about how you will work together, the focus shifts to you. You'll have the opportunity to share your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and hopes, as well as any goals you may have for therapy. This first meeting is also a chance to get a sense of your therapist and begin building a relationship of trust, whether you're meeting in person or online.
It's important to remember that you do not need to have everything worked out before you arrive. There is no expectation that you will explain yourself perfectly or have a clear understanding of how you're feeling. A skilled therapist will help guide the conversation, listen carefully, reflect back what they are hearing, and check that they have understood you correctly.
Many clients describe feeling a sense of relief after their first session. Having dedicated time and space to speak openly, often about things they may have carried alone for some time, can feel both validating and freeing. Being listened to with empathy and curiosity can be the beginning of meaningful change.
It's also quite common to feel emotionally or physically tired afterwards. Talking about difficult experiences or feelings may bring emotions closer to the surface, particularly if they have been held back for a long time. If possible, it can be helpful to leave yourself some quiet space after the session to rest, reflect, and process whatever emerges.
If you would like to learn more about the early stages of therapy and what you can expect, I would be happy to offer a brief introductory call. This provides an opportunity to discuss any questions you may have and help you decide whether therapy feels like the right next step for you.
Kind Regards, Jamie Blackall +44 7538 874344
12th October 2026
How Often Should You see Your Counsellor?
Finding the right therapist can be transformative.
When I found a therapist who was the right fit for me, I felt safe, able to engage fully in the process, and experienced the value of being genuinely heard.
At the beginning of my counselling journey, I committed to weekly sessions because I was navigating grief, emotional overwhelm, and a period of crisis. Those regular appointments helped build momentum and allowed me to start making meaningful progress on the issues I was facing.
Although I often left sessions feeling calmer, the work itself could be emotionally demanding. Weekly sessions gave me enough time to reflect on what had emerged in therapy, process difficult emotions, and return feeling ready for the next conversation.
As my circumstances changed and I became more resilient, my therapist and I agreed to gradually reduce the frequency of sessions. We moved from weekly appointments to fortnightly sessions, and eventually to monthly check-ins.
In my experience, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Some therapists recommend weekly sessions, particularly in the early stages of therapy, while others leave the decision entirely to the client. Ultimately, the right schedule is the one that best supports your needs. Factors such as budget, therapist availability, personal commitments, and the value you gain from the process will all influence that decision.
If you're ready to take the first step towards creating meaningful change, I'd be pleased to offer a short introductory call to see whether we're the right fit to work together.
Kind Regards, Jamie Blackall +44 7538 874344
27th September 2026
How do you Choose the Right Counsellor?
When my marriage began to break down, I reached a point where I could no longer convince myself that I was coping.
Faced with the prospect of not seeing my young family every day, I recognised the need for professional support to help me navigate one of the most significant transitions of my life.
When I found my counsellor, I knew quite quickly that she was the right person for me. From our initial consultation, she demonstrated warmth, empathy, and a non-judgemental approach that immediately put me at ease. For the first time in many years, I felt genuinely heard, understood, and safe.
While qualifications, training, and experience are important, it was the strength of the therapeutic relationship that proved most valuable. The connection we built created a foundation of trust, enabling me to discuss thoughts and emotions I had never previously shared. Feeling comfortable and understood from the outset made a significant difference to the counselling process.
If you are looking for a counsellor, maybe for the first time, consider both the professional and personal aspects of the relationship.
Alongside qualifications and experience, take time to understand a counsellor's therapeutic approach. For example, person-centred counsellors offer a reflective and supportive environment to help clients explore their thoughts and feelings, while psychodynamic practitioners focus on formative experiences and recurring patterns of behaviour. Understanding these approaches can help you identify a style that aligns with your needs.
Practical considerations also matter. Location, availability, session format, cost, and professional accreditation can all influence your decision. Ultimately, trust your instinct. If the connection does not feel right, it is perfectly acceptable to explore other options.
Finding the right counsellor can take time, but choosing a qualified professional with whom you feel safe, supported, and understood can have a profound impact on your therapeutic journey.
21st September 2026
People Pleasing… Where Did it Begin?
People pleasing... where did it begin?
Many people who struggle with people pleasing can trace it back to an earlier experience of seeking approval, avoiding conflict, or trying to feel valued and accepted.
For me, it started around the age of nine. Until then, I was used to being the one who excelled. Then my younger brother started beating me at football, snooker and tennis. Suddenly, the recognition and validation I'd enjoyed disappeared, and I found myself looking for new ways to feel appreciated.
Without realising it, I began doing things that earned approval from others. I tidied the house, washed up, cleaned the car, cut the grass and chopped wood. Those behaviours were praised, so I kept repeating them.
What started as a way of coping became a long-term pattern. I prioritised other people's needs, looked constantly for validation, struggled to say no and ignored my own wellbeing.
Many clients I work with describe similar experiences. They often find themselves:
• Putting others first at their own expense
• Feeling responsible for other people's happiness
• Finding it difficult to set boundaries
• Seeking approval or reassurance from others
• Becoming resentful when their efforts aren't recognised
The challenge is that people pleasing can look like kindness on the surface, while underneath it often creates exhaustion, frustration and low self-worth.
In therapy, we can explore where these patterns began, understand what has kept them going and develop healthier ways of relating to others. That may involve strengthening boundaries, practising self-care, becoming more assertive and learning that your worth isn't dependent on meeting everyone else's needs.
If any of this resonates with you, feel free to get in touch. Together we can explore what's driving the pattern and help you build relationships that feel more balanced, authentic and sustainable.
7th September 2026
An Introduction to Me
You may have found your way here because you're feeling lost, overwhelmed, or alone. Perhaps you're carrying those feelings privately while presenting a version of yourself to the world that seems happy, capable, and in control.
Hi, I'm James, and I know what that feels like.
When my marriage began to break down, I reached a point where I could no longer pretend I was okay. I decided to seek support and found a therapist who was warm, compassionate, and free from judgement. From our very first meeting, I knew I had found the right person to talk to. I can't fully explain why, but something simply felt right.
Through therapy, I began to understand the patterns that had shaped my life. For me, that meant recognising a lifelong tendency to people-please. With support, I made sense of difficult experiences, rebuilt trust in myself, and gradually discovered a greater understanding of who I was.
I found myself asking important questions:
Who am I?
Why do I respond to life in the way that I do?
What do I truly want for myself?
Having the space and support to explore these questions at my own pace was life-changing.
That period of rediscovery eventually led me to Farnborough College of Technology, where I trained as a counsellor and psychotherapist. Several years later, I graduated with a Diploma in Counselling & Psychotherapy.
In 2021, I moved to Hartley Wintney and began a new chapter in my life.
Today, my approach to counselling is shaped by both my professional training and my own lived experience. I offer the qualities that meant so much to me during my own therapy: warmth, honesty, acceptance, and genuine support. I provide a space where you can slow down, reflect, grieve if you need to, and explore your experiences without pressure or judgement.
Because I've experienced what it's like when the foundations of life feel as though they're crumbling beneath you, I understand how hard it can be to take that first step. I also know how powerful it can be to have someone alongside you as you navigate change.
Both my own journey and the journeys of the clients I've had the privilege to work with have transformed my admiration for counselling into a deep and lasting passion.
Looking back now, I can see that some of the most meaningful changes in my life grew from the most difficult periods. I stayed with the process, found the courage to keep going, and committed myself to understanding who I was.
That same opportunity is available to you. If you're ready to take the first step towards understanding yourself more deeply and creating meaningful change, I'd be pleased to offer a short introductory call to see whether we're the right fit to work together.
31 August 2026
